7 comments


  • TL

    As a friend who was no longer wanted, I can say honesty and timing are key. Prolonging the friendship because it’s useful in that moment rather than because you actually have a desire to connect ends up feeling much worse than just being told straight out.

    July 01, 2014
    • I hear you. And well said. Thanks.

      July 01, 2014
  • Fran

    We don’t owe anyone friendship but common decency is still a good place to start. And if we have the right to change our minds, we also have to live with the consequences if we’re essentially jerking someone around by the heart strings thanks to our inability to make up our minds. Those are wounds that don’t heal well, if at all.

    July 01, 2014
    • True. The balance between our own feelings and someone else’s is really tricky. And ultimately, all we have is our best effort at truth. Everything we do has consequences, some of which we may be able to forsee and some which comes as a surprise. That thing about say what you mean and mean what you say but don’t be mean when you say it – it’s as good as any. Especially when combined with don’t blame others for how you feel. Thanks, Fran.

      July 01, 2014
  • Fran

    God yes. Say what you mean, mean what you say and don’t be mean when you say it. And learn the vital skill of recognizing those who are incapable of the above.

    July 01, 2014
  • Terry Morgan

    Oh gosh…I love this Ms D…I loved the part , as babies, we would return what ever we saw on our caregivers face…and how that can develop to be a people pleaser…and the need to please as reward for friendship sometimes..and I have learned that I can say something and then change my mind..Nothing is set in stone….and listen listen listen to my inner knowing about myself…I think I am going to make that list of things that are meaningful to me…to remember what its like to feel ok if things please me….I have given so much away in relationships…..and I didn’t know I was doing it…..Thank you ..feeling grateful

    July 02, 2014
    • Me too, I’m making a list too. Thanks, Ms T.

      July 02, 2014

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